March 7th, 1998

FEW WILL EVEN NOTICE WHEN HE'S GONE
By Jackie Giuliano

We are the generation that stands between the fires:
behind us the flame and smoke
that rose from Auschwitz and from Hiroshima;
before us the nightmare of a Flood of Fire,
the flame and smoke that consume all Earth.
It is our task to make from fire not an all-consuming blaze
but the light in which we see each other fully.
All of us different,
all of us bearing One Spark.
We light these fires to see more clearly
that the Earth and all who live as part of it
are not for burning.
We light these fires to see more clearly
the rainbow in our many-colored faces.

Blessed is the One within the many.
Blessed are the Many who make one.

-- Arthur Waskow

Society's Answer

Based on the criteria that society and the news media use to judge whether or not a story is newsworthy, the story of my friend Wendell is quite unremarkable. You won’t hear about him on the evening news or read about him in the newspaper.

In fact, as environmental activists or just concerned people struggling to figure out right from wrong and what choices to make in our own lives, we will often not see the plight of individuals. An activist will often know a lot about the fate of populations or species or the pressure on tens of thousands of acres of forest. But rarely do we focus on the plight of an individual that society has rendered invisible.

In our modern world, we speak a lot of statistics. A new drug is released if statistically it kills only a minimum number of people. A new airline safety measure will be mandated by the U.S. Federal Aviation Administration only if it will cost the airlines less that the cost of the wrongful death lawsuits it will have to pay to those that are killed by its absence. A species will be protected only if it is rare or endangered and a habitat is only of value when it is one of only a few remaining acres.

Those in power make great efforts to desensitize us from the plight of the individual. It is easier to keep us unconcerned or confused and feeling powerless about social policy. We will want to consume more if left in that troubled state of mind. Yet if one is redefining one’s relationship to the natural world and trying to resolve our confusion about our place in nature, then it soon becomes evident that the individual is of paramount importance. The animal just run over in the street becomes very important. The mere 2 percent of the test subjects that got life-threatening side effects from a newly released drug become very important. The 2,500 babies worldwide under age 5 who die each hour from diarrhea from bad drinking water become very important.

I met Wendell 25 years ago when he hired me to work at the Griffith Observatory in Los Angeles as a museum guide. I was studying astronomy at the Univeristy of Southern California at the time and this was my first real job. As tour guides up on top of the city, we shared what we loved with the public and as young idealists, we took seriously everything that crossed our path. Wendell was full of life and in love with life.

Through the passing of the years and through the many changes in our lives, Wendell and I stayed friends - more like brothers really. His health began to deteriorate in the 1980’s as chronic hypertension - life-threateningly high blood pressure - surfaced in his life, an inherited legacy from both his mother and his father. His father died at age 44 from the condition. Wendell knew all his life that he was a ticking time bomb. That bomb went off in 1985 when Wendell was 44 years old.

I knew something was very wrong when he told me that he had blood in his urine. Other symptoms were building as well and I suggested that he go to L.A. County/USC Medical Center at once. He was already suffering financially at this time; he had a series of short-lived jobs after he left the Observatory. Unknown to us all, the building hypertension was affecting his concentration and ability to work, and the county-run clinic was his only option. When the nurse took his blood pressure during the intake exam, she gasped in horror as the reading set off alarm bells in the equipment. He was immediately admitted to the intensive care unit and the roller coaster ride that was to become his life began.

Since that time, he has not been able to work, got divorced, and had to move back in with his mother. He is on nearly twice the dose of hypertension medication usually prescribed because the usual dose will not lower his blood pressure. The medication makes him dizzy, disoriented, and requires constant trips to the bathroom. Since his original doctor retired, he has even had to battle with the county physicians who do not believe him when he tells them that he needs extra medication to control his blood pressure crises that occur in the dead of night. Last fall, a new doctor assigned to him at the clinic refused to believe his claim that he needed extra medication and refused to prescribe it. A few days later, Wendell was transported to the intensive care and nearly died. After making the ICU nurse watch him as he took extra doses of his medication and witness the effect, his new doctor finally believes him - but treats him poorly out of embarrassment for being told by a patient how to do his job.

The only reason why Wendell is still alive at age 57 is because of his constant vigilance. He hasn’t slept through the night in a decade and has life-threatening bouts with his blood pressure many times a week. He has no income since he is totally unable to work because of the effects of his condition and the medication. Yet the State of California has denied him any disability benefits and refused to accept the reports of his condition from his own doctors. The doctors contracted by the State who examine him with each application and appeal claim that he does not meet the tests for someone who is disabled.

The crisis Wendell now faces is the worst yet. His dear mother died in November 1997. Handouts from friends have kept her mortgage paid until this month. She left no will and all her creditors (they are numerous since they were both living off her credit cards until she died) are now harassing Wendell. The house will soon go into foreclosure and he will have few options left. I have been trying for days to find some free legal aid, but the resources in Los Angeles are surprisingly scarce. Few attorneys are willing to do free work. They didn’t go to school after all to become public servants.

I was hoping to find an attorney who could help us get his mom’s estate into probate, get Wendell designated as the owner of the house, sell it, pay off the debts, and give him some money to live off of. Unfortunately, it looks like the debts will exceed the worth of the house and it may be better for him to just walk away from the situation and let the bank take back the house. Where he will live, I do not know.

"How will we tell her what we did?" (copyright 1998 Jackie Giuliano)"

I haven’t been able to sleep for days. I see my own life choices and the privileged life I lead and I feel guilty that I don’t do more for Wendell. I see the billionaires in the world and all the money squandered and images of the poor and sick haunt me. I see visions of the poor opossum hit by a car and suffering in the street that I stopped for and tried to help a couple of weeks ago - my wife and I were on our way to a movie. He died a short time later, but at least he wasn’t alone. I see the pain and the suffering of the trees in the Headwaters Forest as 193,000 of the 200,000 acres are soon to be destroyed because of greed. I see advertisements in the paper, like the one illustrated at the beginning of this story, telling us to buy shoes to feel better.

As I have said before, there is a price to pay for opening one’s mind and heart to what Thich Nhat Hahn says is the "sound of the Earth crying." We are not encouraged by our Western culture to help each other - we are instead encouraged to isolate ourselves from the world, to take care of ourselves, to be independent.

But we must resist the pressures to buy the shoes to feel better. We must resist the pressures to feel hopeless. We must fight to remember our power as compassionate beings. We must stop for every suffering being and do the very best we can to help. There is no alternative. There never was. We must feel the pain, enter the darkness, cry, and shine light on the other side - no matter what the cost. If we don’t, who will?

There will be a morning song
for those who clean the dust
from the children’s bruises
the blood of the wounds from bullets
those who wipe the sleep
from the eyes of the weary
and whose labour shields
the frail bodies of the old
those whose pain is multiplied
by the pleas of their young
scarred by the precision
of their inquisitors
who refuse to retreat in battle
and who are dying with the sum of this knowledge
There will be a future.

-- Iyamide Hazeley

Mother of Exiles, Shelter of the Homeless,
we are in need of your mercy.
We ask your blessing on your children everywhere
who are in danger today.
Bless all who suffer from injustice.
Shelter them in the warmth of your love
and safeguard them from the evil that rages around them.
Turn our eyes and hearts to their needs
and give us courage to act for their good.
We ask this, relying on your compassion
and confident of your love. Amen.

-- Pat Kozak

RESOURCES

1. Learn more about chronic hypertension at http://www.cdc.gov/nchswww/fastats/hyprtens.htm

2. Read an interesting article about how our attention has turned to accumulating wealth at http://econ161.berkeley.edu/TCEH/Slouch_wealth2.html

3. Learn about alternatives to consumerism from Adbusters at http://www.adbusters.org./main.html

4. Keep track of airline safety issues at http://airsafe.com/

5. Visit the Shavano Institute for soul enriching programs at http://www.shavano.org/high/index.html

6. Become a more compassionate eater by exploring the non-animal food choices we have. Visit Earthsave at http://www.earthsave.org/

7. Get help understanding the deceptions of the media from Fairness and Accuracy in Reporting at http://www.fair.org/

8. Learn about the Headwaters Forest at http://www.envirolink.org/orgs/headwaters/

9. Visit Changelinks for a comprehensive listing of activist happenings in Southern California as well as links and articles at http://www.labridge.com/change-links/ 10. Get help with the complexities of life with thought provoking articles at the Context Institute. Visit them at http://www.context.org/

11. Visit a comprehensive list of peace listings at http://www.nonviolence.org/links.htm

12. Learn of the work of monk Thich Nhat Hahn at http://www.parallax.org/scripts/parallax/index.pl?funct=author&query=Nhat+Hanh%2C+Thich&id=

13. Go outside and look at the Moon. If you can’t (or you can’t find it) visit http://www.fourmilab.ch/cgi-bin/uncgi/Earth/action?opt=-m&img=Moon.evif

14. Go into the woods. Now. Realize you must by visiting Yosemite National Park’s web site at http://www.yosemite.org/

{Jackie Giuliano can be found looking for an attorney in Venice, California. He is a Professor of Environmental Studies for Antioch University, Los Angeles, and the University of Phoenix Southern California Campuses. He is also the Educational Outreach Manager for the Outer Planets/Solar Probe Project, a NASA program at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory to send space probes to Jupiter’s moon Europa, the planet Pluto, and the Sun. Please send your thoughts, comments, and visions to him at jackie@deepteaching.com