August 16th, 1997
HEALING
By Jackie Giuliano
"We're afraid of intimacy, of wildness, of love; afraid of the very things we
desire, because if we acknowledged them we would have to acknowledge the possibility of
losing them. If we fail in this century, it won't be because of arrogance, it'll be
because of fear." -- Terry Tempest Williams
A few weeks ago, U.S. senators, worried that an upcoming treaty on global warming would
economically damage the United States, voted 95-0 to urge the government not to sign it.
In debate on their nonbinding resolution, the senators complained that about 130
developing nations, including China, India, Mexico and South Korea, would not be required
to limit air pollution by the pact. "I do not think the Senate should support a
treaty that requires only half of the world - in other words, the developed countries - to
endure the economic cost of reducing emissions while countries are free to pollute the
atmosphere, and in so doing, siphon off American industries," said Senator Robert C.
Byrd, a Democrat from West Virginia.
The senators are, it seems, unaware that the United States, which has less than 5 percent
of the world's population, generates nearly 30 percent of the world's waste.
Abandoned coal mines in Pennsylvania, experiencing a nagging problem of leaching acid
runoff into rivers and streams, have started depositing 500,000 tons of toxic mud dredged
from New York Harbor into the mines. The mud, filled with dioxin and other pollutants, can
leach into the groundwaters and streams just like the mine wastes. I guess no one thought
of that. Or did they?
The United States is not alone in its follies. Japan is now declaring Minamata Bay safe
for fishing. Since a mercury spill in this bay twenty years ago, the lives of more than
11,300 people have been affected. The echoes of the over 1000 dead and the anguish of
those alive and suffering goes unheeded. The fish still contain life-threatening mercury.
On August 8, 1997, a day that will live in infamy to our descendents, the University of
Wisconsin unveiled the results of a 10-year research project - a 6-month old cloned calf.
This abomination sets the stage for humans to design animals, and people, that maximize
profit and minimize inconvenience for the handlers. I have no doubt that on the genetic
drawing boards are legless pigs and veal calfs, beakless chickens, and other atrocities
that a sane, compassionate person can scarcely imagine.
I am not going to give you a mountain of statistics and a plethora of arguments about why
the above issues are obscene and absurd. I really don't think it helps get at the core of
our problem. The reason why we contribute to these events and see them as little more than
passing stories in the newspaper is within each of us, not in a chart or graph or a piece
of legislation. As with most things human, the answer lies within each person. People run
the corporations that are trashing the Earth and her inhabitants, and we buy stuff from
them.
We are so afraid. Afraid, like Terry Tempest Williams said, of "intimacy, of
wildness, of love." We are afraid of acknowledging the vital importance of the
natural world because if we do acknowledge it, we must fear losing it. We are afraid of
acknowledging our intimate connection to the natural world because if we do acknowledge
it, then we must fear losing our souls.
Where did this disregard for the source of our lives come from? How did we get so
disconnected? I can't help but think that an answer lies in the individual family journeys
we have all had - the rejections, the denials of our needs, the disconnections so many of
us have experienced while growing up.
Our continual reliance upon technological solutions to societal and personal problems has
distanced us from the natural world and created a false mythology about the way the world
works. In my own family, I see this on a personal level that feels like a metaphor for our
disconnected way of relating to the natural world.
My parents have lived a major portion of their lives in fear. They were afraid to share
their feelings; afraid of exposing themselves to family and friends - therefore they had
no friends; and afraid of telling the truth about how they felt about anything - for fear
that a loss would result if the truth were known.
That dynamic exists even today, 43 years after my birth and now that millions of incidents
are behind us. Just yesterday - I am visiting my family in Washington State as I write
this - I asked my Mom about her plans to get to my wedding in November. I was upset that
she planned to fly to my sister's place in Las Vegas, drive down with her and her husband
the day of the wedding, and leave after the ceremony! The strange thing is, no one saw
anything odd about that. Except me. Of course, I have had tens of thousands of dollars of
psychotherapy to try to understand the dynamics in me that have dominated my life.
So we all got quiet. My Mom called my sister that night and cried to her about my desire
to change their plans. What I think she was really crying about is her fear. She was
afraid because I was reaching out to her, pretty much for the first time in my life, and
she does not know how to receive it. But I decided that after my Dad died a couple of
months ago and I lost the opportunity to connect with him forever, I was not going to let
my Mom pass on before making the attempt to reach out to her.
But my expectations were unreasonable. How can someone who has lived their life based on
the fear that if those around her knew her truths, they would leave and all would be lost,
be expected to suddenly open up? I have gotten some strong clues about my own obstacles to
connecting with myself and the natural world by observing my family and seeing my
upbringing in these terms.
What are your own personal clues in your journey?
There are many innovative environmental education programs around the world that strive to
reconnect people with the natural world. But you cannot expect someone to reconnect who
has never connected in the first place. A dramatic example of this has been seen in
programs that take inner city youths into wilderness settings. In extreme cases, where the
youths have never been outside the city, a city filled with smooth concrete surfaces,
constant noise from traffic and construction, with people and often violence everywhere,
panic sets in. Some of these children cannot even leave the bus when they arrive in a
forest - the fear is so great. I read one account of children who crawled under their bus
seats and curled up in a fetal position, wracked with fear.
So what can we do? It feels so hopeless sometimes - how can any one of us save ourselves
and the world? Well, the answer to that one is simple. You can't, and you don't have to,
because you are not alone. Virtually everyone is struggling in some way. But I am
convinced that if each one of us tends to our personal lives, living in a mindful and
meaningful way, striving to create a world that we WANT to live in, then progress can be
made. Here are some thoughts about what we can do to reduce the separation we feel from
ourselves and the natural world.
STEP 1 - Noticing
- Notice the world around you - its shapes, textures, colors, smells. Notice which ones
feel good and which ones feel bad. File that awareness away in your being.
- Notice how you feel in relation to the world. Notice your feet on the ground when you
walk. Notice if the ground is level or curved. Notice the difference between walking on
concrete and grass. Notice if you have a preference. Is it uncomfortable to walk on uneven
ground after a week in the city? How does that make you feel?
- Notice your body more. Notice your skin, the feel of your flesh. Are there parts of your
body that you do not like to think about. (With me, I hate to think of my stomach, yet it
is with me all the time. I grew up very heavy and even though I lost the weight in high
school, the large body image in my mind is still with me.) Notice if there are parts of
your body that you hate. Go out of your way to touch them. They are a part of you. This is
the beginning of learning to have compassion for your self. Breathe into that body part
that disturbs you. Try to welcome it home.
- Notice the times of day you are more active and feel more alive. Notice when you eat
foods that drain you of energy, and when you eat foods that energize you. Learn about the
powerful effect that our food choices have on the world and decide to eat foods that
energize you and that don't harm our world or the creatures on it.
STEP 2 - Exploring Your Personal Journey
Examine your own personal journey. Learn what you can about what drives your actions, your
feelings, and your motivations. Try not to go into this exploration with the intent of
changing your past or those who took part in it. Rather, look for clues that will help you
understand your own reasons for doing what you do each day and how you respond to others.
There are a variety of methods available to do this:
- Sit quietly with yourself and reflect.
- Write what you learn in a daily journal.
- Explore the creative side of you with art and crafts.
- See a therapist, a professional who will share your explorations. Yes, this can be
costly. But you can also do this quite economically. Call around in your community and
look for "counseling centers" associated with colleges and universities. They
are the training ground for healing professionals and the good ones have very good people
working there. This type of therapy will cost you anywhere from $0 to $50 per hour. Shop
around.
STEP 3 - Examining How You Are Involved In The World
- Do not watch the television news! Ever. Those shows do not give you "news."
They are carfully designed collections of fear-generating vignettes, creating holes in our
self-confidence that need to be filled. And, conveniently, those shows present you with
many things to buy to fill those holes. Resist the urge to tune in. Ask yourself,
"What value does it add to my life to know these things?"
- Seek out information from alternative sources. Visit independent bookstores and attend
events sponsored by groups in your community fighting for environmetnal and humane issues.
Find women's bookstores, places where alternative points of view are in abundance and
welcomed.
- Learn about many sides of issues. Learn from the proponents as well as the opponents of
any issue in which you are interested. Decide for yourself what you want your values and
ethics to be. Decide what kind of world you want to live in. Begin to create a life that
supports compassion for all life and that nourishes the life-support systems of the Earth.
- Examine your perceptions of personal freedom. Should we all really be allowed to do
whatever we want whenever we want? Should any business be able to be started no matter
what the environmental and social consequences? Does your community really need another
automotive plating plant, another bagel shop, another nail boutique? Is it really OK for
another fast food restaurant to open, spewing out toxic, meat-laden plumes into the air?
The California Institute of Technology found, a few years ago, that the largest components
of particulate air pollution in Los Angeles are particles of meat from all the restaurants
and backyard barbeques! They discovered this by detecting cholesterol in the atmosphere.
So much for thinking that some of us can be total vegetarians when the very air you
breathe is laden with meat.
- Examine your perception of your identity. Are you someone who works for company
"A" or are you an individual with a set of values and desires? Does your work
match your values? Does your play match your work? Find a way to begin the process of
getting your identity to match your work, your play, and your values. This is vital.
STEP 4 - Learning to Work for the Earth Without Going Crazy as taught by Joanna
Macy.
- Remember that it is not your responsibility alone to save the world. It is your
responsibility to take responsibility for your own actions and to try to live a life of
compassion. But you are not alone. There are many millions of people on this world who are
trying to live mindfully.
- Broaden your concept of self. Try to see yourself as more than just you. See your self
expanding to include the Earth, the air, the water, and the people around you.
- See conflict as an opportunity for learning and personal growth.
- See beyond the blinders of expectations.
- See possiblilities everywhere rather than battles.
Keep trying. See the beauty around you. Be as kind and gentle as you can. And do not
tolerate injustice, cruelty, or lack of mindfulness.
May those
whose lives are gripped in the palm of suffering
open
even now
to the Wonder of Life.
May they let go of the hurt
and Meet the True Self beyond pain,
the Uncarved Block
that is our joyous Unity with Holiness.
May they discover through pain and torment
the strength to live with grace and humor.
May they discover through doubt and anguish
the strength to live with dignity and holiness.
May they discover through suffering and fear
the strength to move toward healing.
-- Rabbi Rami M. Shapiro
RESOURCES and REFERENCES
1. John Robbins books, Diet for a New World and Diet for a New America will tell about the
powerful effects our food choices have on our bodies and our word. The Diet for a New
America video could be the most important 58 minutes of your life. Have an evening with
family and/or friends when you all watch it together.
2. Check out Earthsave International, an organization founded by author John Robbins at http://www.earthsave.org/mission.htm.
Read an interview with John Robbins at http://www.doubleclickd.com/Articles/RedwoodWorks/jrobbins.html
3. You can learn more about how our dietary choices affect the world from the Beyond Beef
campaign at http://envirolink.org/arrs/essays/beyondtop.html
4. There are many counseling centers. If you are in Southern California, the Antioch
University, Los Angeles Counseling Center can help. They can be reached by phoning (310)
319-2716.
5. As always, write your elected representatives. E-mail them regularly. Contact the
President through e-mail at http://www.whitehouse.gov/WH/EOP/html/couples.html
6. For a comprehensive list of links to women and science sites, visit http://www.ai.mit.edu/people/ellens/Gender/wom_and_min.html
7. The Utne Reader is a good way to check out the alternative press as it republishes
excellent articles from a wide variety of publications. Check out sample sections at http://www.utne.com
8. Check out Adbusters for ways to get off the consuming treadmill at http://www.adbusters.org./main.html
9. Thich Nhat Hanh will be coming to the United States from late August 1997 to October
1997. SEE HIM! Check out him and his schedule at http://www.parallax.org/scripts/parallax/static.pl?file=schedules.html&id=
10. Check out the work of Joanna Macy at http://members.aol.com/creabooks/creatura.html
{Jackie Giuliano can be found trying to sort it all out in Venice,
California. He is a Professor of Environmental Studies for Antioch
University, Los Angeles, the University of Phoenix, and the Union
Institute College of Undergraduate Studies. He is also the Educational
Outreach Manager for the Ice and Fire Preprojects, a NASA program
at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory to send space probes to Jupiter's
moon Europa, the planet Pluto, and the Sun. He can be reached at jackie@deepteaching.com}
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